Saturday, July 15, 2006
Unhappy thoughts go away please!!!
Was workin at Unity just now when I received an sms from my younger sis."Da Jie and Kor Kor crying in the room."
After callin my sis then I found out the reason. My bro misses Pa. And ever since Pa left, he felt veri stressed. He feel the responsibility of everything handed over to him and he felt overwhelmed...
Tears filled my eyes immediately... Pa left us oreadi more than one year le... Everyone at home just behaves as though we had managed to let go... And all along, I thought I was the only one who couldnt let go... I felt so silly... I felt very bad... Bad cos I never care enough for my brother to realise that he has been feelin unhappy all these while... I understand that he has A levels comin, his swimmin competition as well as army... Perhaps at his age, he shouldnt haf had to undergo so much stress alone while copin with the loss of Pa... I felt so guilty cos I feel that I should do sth but I dunno wat...
We seldom talk bout Pa at home... Cos I guess none of us had realli let go ba... It still hurts so much... =( Especially when the staff at Unity ask me bout my family and showed me their concern... I feel like cryin everytime I realise how much I miss Pa...
Today is Ma's birthday... I bought her an office chair cos she complained of backache with her present too-low chair... Today, we brought her to somewhere I find realli nice... Sis's bf got to work and couldnt drive us. Luckily our dear aunt offered to drive us... Cos that place realli so ulu... =P Anyway, it's a club where we get to lunch beside the sea... It's realli windy and nice... Food not that fantastic, but all of us enjoyed ourselves takin foto, lookin at the pple sailin in the sea, the waves, the kayaks, etc... =) Haven been feelin happy for quite some time... But felt slightly better after the lunch... Tink I realli like the beach n sea... =)
Anyway, sis graduatin lo!!! Her is-that-call-convocation?! is on 25th July... So lookin forward to tt day... We are thinkin of gg to a studio to take a family foto... But dunno where's gd... Perhaps will fotoshop Pa into the foto? (Is that possible?) Since his wish is to see sis graduatin...
Realli hope all of us will stay strong... But frankly, sometimes... I really feel that I haf no goals in my life... The real reason why I took Pharmacy was to be of some help to Pa... Cos Pa haf kidney failure for like ten years... Always see him takin 7 or 8 medication per meal... Especially after his kidney transplant... I realli hope to help him with his medication... But now... Sigh...
Nah... I wont stay in this depression mode de... =) I believe that I will be happy Peiru again one day... I will be able to achieve that definitely, especially with the support n encouragement of so many friends... Thanks everyone...
by voices_in_my_heart at 7/15/2006 11:00:00 PM |
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