Hmm... Quite amazed by myself lately... I mean... I really think i changed! I find myself studyin alot more often than I did in previous semester... =P Isit cos the modules dis semester is more demandin? Or am I realli bcome a hardworkin gal?! Haha~ Studyin during weekends seem quite impossible... Tuitions, family outin, gg out wif frens, etc... Studyin at home is also a big challenge... All the distractions... My bed, lap top, scv shows, food, etc... Haha~ Tink most efficient n effective way is to stay back in school to study ba... Hopefully from tuesday onwards... Celine can pei wo le! Yeah! *Hint!*Been feelin rather low... Mayb cos of school stress ba... Hate havin to rush projects and not being able to understand lectures... Student havin her o'level prelims... No maid at home now!!! ='( Havin to help out wif house work is such a sad things lar... Everyday alreadi so tired when I reached home... Mornin dun even haf a nice cup of coffee to wake me up... Everyday muz close windows, lock the doors when I leave for school... T-shirts un-ironed... Everything muz DIY... Aiyo... So sian diao... Not tt I'm pampered or wat... But I realli get used to someone doin all these stuff for me le ma... =(Anyway, juz came hm from my cousin's 21st birthday celebration... Ate lots of delicious food there, tibits n drank some wines... Chattin wif aunt, uncles and cousins... Feelin quite happy now... Finally can rest after a long day... =)
"Likin some1 can b quite a painful experience..."
Heard this from a fren of mine some time back... But it was onli recently tt I start to slowly understand this statement... =(
Having some problems with someone now... Haiz... Wonder why isit tt he alwayz cant make me happy... Am I expectin too much? I juz needed someone...
1.who haf time for me
2.who can protect me
3.who can make me smile/laugh
Am I realli expectin too much?!
Haiz... I realli hate myself whenever I get so frustrated over these kind of *rubbish* problems...
That's the reason why... Whenever I tink I start to like someone... I'll try to prevent tt from happenin... I dunwan to risk gettin hurt, I dunwan to be unhappy...
Anyway... Today had quite a bad scare... Was walkin to the bus stop at nite... Cos stayed back in sch to study ma... It was quite dark then le... I'm quite a timid person... So was quite scared... Was feelin quite glad tt at least there's the orange street light... THEN! Suddenly, juz as I walk pass one of the street light, it went off!!! I almost cry LAR!!! To make matter worse, I was sharing ghost stories with some friends earlier tt day... Jiu ming AH!!! And I was feelin quite hungry then cos haven had my dinner... Can I feel any more miserable??? Loneliness + Scared + Hungry + Tiredness... Haiz...
Back home le was quite touched when my mom help me heat up dinner!!! =) Tink it helped me forget bout my previous traumatisin experience ba... Thanks alot Mom!!
LoveI thought it was overmy feeling's for youI thought I could go on as if nothing had happenedas if it was all some bad dreambut then I woke upto this nightmarish hellthat I tried so hard to run away fromand saw the truththat I still love you.
I hide behind a mask of happinessso people won't ask me"What's wrong?" "What's wrong?"because sometimes I don't even know.But even through all my masks, all my illusions,you can always see my truthand my true feelings.
Those people say they know mewho I really ambut only you know the real mebecause only you have seenmy heart...A poem I saw somewhere... =)
Today after school i went suntec wif jenxi, guoping, shiqi, huixian n junwei... Haha... Our main purpose of gg there is to buy a birthday present for our dear fren Mandy... Lol! But of cos Shun Bian go there for dinner lar...Actualli wasnt quite happy the whole day... Cos went to sch for mornin lecture... Which is rather 'fei'... Then had to wait for like 5 hours b4 the next lesson lar... And tt lesson was realli boring too!!! Haiz... Tot it is gg to be a real bad day... =(Then went suntec for dinner... Bought Mandy's present... Yeah!! Where was the fun part ne?! Haha~ Actualli was tt after dinner, we went to the fountain of wealth... I didnt know we can actualli 'dian ge' lor... Feel so mountain turtle... Haha! We sat down there, chattin... Then finally when we decided to 'dian ge', we were too late... Lol! So suay rite?! So we waited for the fountain water to stop flowin b4 we went to the centre... Haha! Tink it was written there : Put ur right hand in the fountain, and walk three rounds, makin a silent wish... So all of us guai guai do it lor... BUT! Dunno whether it was Guoping or was it Jenxi who suddenly started splashin water at me... And Yes! U are rite! I splashed them back... Then all of us machiam walk around the fountain, splashin one n another lar! Haha! Then sth farnie happened! Shiqi n Junwei shouted at me so i turned around... Wat a shock I had when i saw an uncle standin behind me... Haha! So I had been splashin him n not Junwei all this while!!! Hahahaha~ SO paiseh LAR! And when I turned around, I tink I hear the uncle say: "Can dun splash oreadi anot, haha!" Then of cos I stop splashin him lar... That was when Junwei n Shiqi started laughin at me... =P Was malu-ating YES! But I totally enjoyed myself then lor! Hahaha~ Alll laughin at my silly mistake... Everyone slightly drenched... But veri happy... =)The onli regret was that... I was so engrossed in the splashin of water tt I forgotten bout the silent wish... =( Will my wish still come true if I make my wish now?! Haha~
Went to watch mid nite movie wif frens yesterday... Went wif my best buddy (Junwei), best enemy (Guoping) and Shiqi... Yeah!! Mid nite movie + It's a horror movie... How wonderful it is!!!Was intendin to watch the one at 11pm plus... However, tix are sellin so fast tt even though we went early to buy tix, we couldnt get any... So travelled from Cine to PS then back to Cine again... Finally, we decided to catch the one at 125am. Lol! Was quite excited bout the movie though I was feelin SUPER sleepy LAR... Got quite high expectation for the movie leh...Waited n waited... Drank coffee at TCC, played arcade, went toilet for like a million times... Finally!!! We can enter the cinema le... Haha! Actualli i tink Shiqi is as coward as me lar... Haha! Mayb Junwei also... Lol! Guoping? I not so sure... Is he acting brave only?? Hmm...Throughout the movie, I was quite scared... Tink is bcos I had such high expectation for the movie... So i tot sth scary is goin to happen like every seconds... BUT frankly speakin, all in all, I'm quite disappointed in the movie... Esp the storyline... Quite rubbish... Feel so cheated... Wat's the conclusion? Next time watch horror movie... 1. Muz bring 2 jackets, one for warmth, the other to cover ur eyes when u are scared... 2. Sit beside someone who is willing to lend me his/her arm, will feel more safe holdin on to someone... 3. Dun sit beside Best enemy, cos even when the movie is not TT scary, he'll say things to make u scared.. ='( 4. Dun go on friday nite when all the tix are selling out fast... 5. Dun watch mid nite movie if u woke up at 530am tt day... Will KO de...After the movie, I was so tired LAR... Fell asleep on my way home... Even when walkin along corridor to my house, my eyes are closed... Lol! Jialat anot?! Slept til quite late this mornin... Lazy LAR... as usual... Hehez! Wondering wat to do for the rest of today... Pretty bored... Hmm...
Went to WWW today... Went there after tuition... Started playin at around 1pm ba... Started wif not-so-scary rides first... The 6-seater woolala ride, followed by individual slides... Haha! Then we challenged the most scary of all - the U shaped slide... The one tt I'm most afraid of LAR!!!Haha! I went up first wif Huixian... The moment we reached the top, I felt really uneasy alreadi. Lol! Huixian got onto the float first... My body refuse to listen to me anymore. My legs refuse to move... Haha! I juz stand by the float screamin n screamin... Until the life guard ear drums almost burst la! Haha! Then FINALLY, I sat down on the float... But I was still screamin n screamin... Lol! And hyper-ventilatin too... Tot I would faint there n then lar... Hahahahhaa~ Then the moment I dreaded for most came... It was like free fall la... I felt helpless... So helpless that I sort of forgot to scream... Haha! The ride ended pretty soon... Like within 10 seconds... My leg was so wobbly LAR. Couldnt realli walk properly... But muz act brave ah... The rest still haven take the ride... =)However, I haf to admit the ride was not as scary as I tot it would be... That's y I decided to take it a second time, and then a third time... I didnt scream AT ALL lar... Quite impressed by myself... Yeah!!! Tink actualli I'm quite a brave girl!!! Yeah!!! A brave gal who's scared of dogs, insects, snakes, etc... Oops! Hehez~Enjoyed myself thoroughly at WWW. Went Chom Chom after tt... Had a satisfying dinner... Hao Kai Xin!!! And met my junior Pearlyn there. Lol so Qiao Lar!Now back home le... Feelin so sleepy... Haha! Guess will KO very soon de. Hee!
Reached home at 2 am plus yesterday... Haha! Went Marina Bay to watch concerts and more importantly, fireworks!!Reached there at 7pm plus... but the concert onli starts at 9pm... We were so bored LAR! Then FINALLY the concert begins... at 9pm plus... It wasnt realli excitin cos they started wif this magic show + musical. I dun realli like it LAR. Then followed by Machi didi, FIR, Kone, etc... I went there not bcos of the concert lar... I wanted to watch the fireworks ONLY!! FIR was the bonus... Lol!Waited n waited... 10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!... Yeah!!! Finally... Happy Birthday Singapore!!! And more importantly, I get to see the beautiful fireworks... Haha! It's so colourful LAR! Was so gan dong... So glad that I'm there watchin the firework display n not slacking at home... Hehe! Only regret was tt I forgotten to bring my camera along... =(So wat was the sad thing tt day? Not the long wait... Not that I only get to use the toilet like after I endured for 2 hours... But the way back to MRT station after watchinthe fireworks... It was so tiring n squeezy n everything... But was glad that he sent me home after tt... But he look so sleepy la + he's not feeling well oso... Feelin abit guilty. =PAll in all, I had a great Yesterday!!! Haha! Goin out soon le... Gotta go bathe... Later...
Yesterday went to ktv... Sang from 2 to 7pm... Haha~ Realli enjoyed myself alot!!! We went out cos it was Jenxi's birthday... =) Teased him n Xuanwei a little bit... Yes! A little bit onli!!! Haha! Anyway, Xuanwei's voice is REALLY gd lar. It was the second time I hear her sing... Both time, my heart melted... Aiyo... If I'm a guy, I'd realli fall in love wif her...voice. Lol! I sang quite a few Hokkien songs wif Shiqi... It was one of the few times I sang Hokkien songs at ktv ba... Sang quite a few Hokkien songs wor... Brought back alot of fond memories... I learnt how to sing Hokkien songs since I was like 3 years old? Haha! Cos my parents love to sing alot... When I was young, they would bring me to ktv at night time... With their frens... Haha! Then we'll all sing til like 3 am... Tt time was realli veri veri fun!! Singin songs after songs wif all those uncles n aunties... So wat's the best part? It's tt after singin, we'll go to this restaurant tt sells realli delicious potato porridge... Ha~ I love it ALOT then lor... =D Haiz... Realli ah... After my father left us, my mother n I seldom sing Hokkien songs anymore... Mayb cos we are afraid tt we might not be able to take it? Mayb we feel that we are still not strong enough to handle the memories tt those songs will bring back?... I dunno... But all I know is that... My heart is still not strong enough... When I hear certain songs, remember certain things... Anything.. Just anything tt bring back memories of my father... I cant help it but cry... Guess I realli need more time ba... More time to accept, more time to let go... It's not as easy as I tot it will be... Everytime when I tot I alreadi let go... I will find out (soon enuf) tt I haven let go enough... Too tough... Too tough for me... It was realli these past few years when I realli got closer to my father... I dunno y he will juz suddenly leave all of us. I cant accept it... It's so unfair. Call me selfish, call me stubborn... I dun care... Anyway, I strongly believe that Time can heals all wounds... This WILL not be an exception... One day... One day I'll realli be able to let go... I promise...
