Sunday, September 04, 2005
Clean Break... ='(
Had a long talk with him yesterday... A real talk... Tellin him How I felt all this time... We decided to haf a clean break this time...For those who dunno anything, this guy is a very close guy fren of mine I met in JC. He is exremely sweet n nice to me... Then we sort of started goin out... When I'm with him, I feel very at ease. Mayb cos he's like a real gd fren to me... All these years, he did pop the question bout askin me to be his girlfren... But I didnt agree... Cos I realli dun haf the gan jue... At first I tot gan qing can pei yang... That's y I was with him for so long le... BUT the longer it drags, the more I take him for granted... And the gan jue juz gets lesser n lesser... For some time, I was realli touched by his effort n niceness, he realli did everything he can juz to make me happy...
All these while, the nicer he treats me, the more guilty I felt... Cos I cant believe y I can still not like him after all that he had done... =( That's when I decided to tell him: "Let's not go out together anymore..." Yesterday was definitely not the first time I told him that... Previously when I tell him, he will cry, then I will cry too... Cos I cant stand guys crying... So eventually we'll juz act as though nothing happened... BUT yesterday was bad... I decided not to drag this on again n again... It's all wrong... Wrong that he, being such a nice guy, deserves a gal who likes him as much, if not more... (That gal is definitely not me!) So yesterday, both of us cried ALOT over the phone... It was one of the few times I cried so much...My eyes realli hurt now... But my heart hurts more...
Why my heart hurts? Cos he realli meant ALOT to me... Mayb not as a boyfren, but as a good guy fren... He realli has a veri important place in my heart... I know I hurt him alot, I was realli harsh on him yesterday... But other than havin a clean break... I cant tink of any other solutions to solve this problem... I am mean... But I realli dunno wat else I can do... SORRY...
by voices_in_my_heart at 9/04/2005 09:27:00 AM |
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